Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Crumbs of hope

Just found a minute to myself at last. All this while I was stuck up in the world of my own and I had nothing prominent to share with you guys. Though I still don't have much to talk about or maybe I want to keep it to myself; but I simply needed this blog to doodle around.

Have you ever felt that feeling standing on a footpath or a random corner humming a tune that the world is dancing on your tune....the trees are grooving on your rhythm and the cars passing by are looking after the beats.... its strange but I feel it, randomly out of the blue I have a new tune on my lips and the world seems with me in it.

During the last weekend....I have been asking myself, what is it that makes your life so liveable? I know.... friends and family is the first thing on your mind or probably love. But still, eliminating all those constraints we are so familiar with.... would you want to live? Well, many do as a matter of fact. So what is that ultimate urge to live and be happy?

I certainly cant imagine life without the people in it and the love they bring in it (and every other emotion along....which I would like to omit...let it just be love for now) and now that I think of it....I would go bananas if left in a deserted place, taking it in either sense...I might shout and scream looking for people or as I can never stop being myself, I could actually make use of the privacy and dance or write books maybe.

Lets go deeper.....in the darkest hours of my life when I assumed I had nobody to hold onto a little voice in my head kept screaming, urging me to get up, keeping me up.... making me weave a beautiful fairy tale life. Maybe it is foolish to dream when your plate is empty but it keeps you alive, it makes you wanna live, it makes you wanna look for that one smile in an ocean of frowns. Eventually...... ultimate exhilaration comes to you when you are living your dreams....with eyes not closed but wide open.

This light coming from my vivid dreams keeps me alive. My dreams are bizarre...like becoming something close to coco chanel or living in the country side with the love of my life and two twin daughters along with a cute St.Bernard dog...You would tag me a kid when I tell you that I have thought upon every detail of these dreams.. like my label should be called Layla (I like the song too much!) or my kids will have Russian nick names or I will have a pink room of my own with everything pink and my home will have huge windows I can gaze from, yellow delicate curtains intensifying the sun..... my dreams have no end.

Dreams are the fuel to my hope and hope fuels that urge inside me to live....


  1. it seems that u have mixture f philosophies for urself..which helps u sailing towards ur destiny..gud..

  2. Yeah....my fuzzy philosophies :p they are pretty dreamy and unreal but by far they have been faithful to me!

  3. believing is seeing..what u get is what u believe..=)

  4. Its all about faith..... there are two kinds of forces in this world...the ones that try hard to pull you down and then there are the ones that push you through. It is your faith that fuels either of them.

  5. seems as if ur sad about something....

  6. well... i hope u are not now... :)