Friday, February 15, 2013

The evening I met Indira Gandhi

Okay so, this is a first hand narration of what happened to my dear friend Swarnim, In his own words... Love you Vatsala Singh...You rule!

Women of substance arent uncommon, its just that sometimes you have to put them under the scanner to get those sparks flying.

it was an ordinary evening, nothing out of the blues, just a common, everyday, rush-in-the-metro, 13th february evening. I and this girl of mine were travelling from moolchand to rajiv chowk. the train was pretty much crowded so we decided to chat on the intersection of the first and second coahes. the first coach being females only was off limits to male passengers and hence pretty much breathable and less crammed. Then at jln two guys enter the metro and stand in the women’s compartment quite near to us. I check behind me to see if the crowd has sparsed but it hasn’t so I keep quiet and having pity let them stand but after khan market when quite a lot of space has been created, I ask them, quite politely (strange for me, I know) to get them on this side of the McMahon line. The conversation is as follows

Me- erm…who female coach hai, aap logon ko iss side aa jaana chahiye.
The Hero (because the other one, his sidekick, didn’t say a single word throughout)- I know. Its okay!
Me- its not okay. Its reserved for them only. You should come this side.
The hero- I know. You don’t tell me. We know what-what is
Me(thinking- this guy wants to get his ass kicked)- no, dude, you are wrong, you ought to be on this side. It’s a punishable offence to be on that side. Its illegal.
The Hero- I know what-what is right! Are you an officer that you tell me!
Me- I am a concerned citizen and what you are doing is wrong. If you don’t move then I’ll have to call DMRC.
The Hero- call whoever you want, I am not moving
Me (thinking)- ohh…I am gonna whoop your ass (sadly, it was the one who hadn’t spoken a word yet who would)

So, I call up DMRC and tell them that we are entering csec and there are two guys who wont leave the female compartment even when I am telling them too and they tell me that they’d try to nab them on csec but well, alas, it was not to be as the train just then entered the station and those people evacuated the scene as if their assess were on fire. So, well, before I could ask any guard for help I lost their site and this is where, she comes into the picture and makes it hers just like Anthony Hopkins in The Silence of the Lambs. “Tell me, Clarice– have the lambs stopped screaming?...”

V spots them arms hanging on each other’s shoulders laughing and being merry as if mocking me that nothing ill happened to them and at that moment of time I saw Maa Durga, Maa Kali, Rani Laxmi Bai and Mrs. Gandhi all becoming one- her,
Before I knew it, I was being given instructions to follow those “bastards” and informing her while she goes to the customer care and brings along a couple of guards. Just when I reached the platform of trains going towards Jahangir Puri, the metro came and those people got into it the whole time knowing I was just behind them. I told them, dude, you gotta wait, my friend is coming with a few people  who would like to have a talk with you and they tell me “listen, I don’t have time for you! Meet me at chattarpur!” (yes, dude! chattarpur! that’s on the opposite side of the line!) I call her and tell her that they have boarded the train. She tells me to do it too and tell her my location. I fumbled and gave the wrong actually but she figures out where am I (she has supernatural powers I tell you!) so, in short in a chase sequence which saw the metro being stopped after it had started moving and guards boarding the train those two were finally nabbed.
At the next station, patel chowk we were asked to deboard the metro and follow the personnel as they took us to their security centre.  Those people were asked to exit with their metro cards (which were also confisticated) and we were made to exit through the employee exit area. Ooh! Didn’t I feel good! Well, finally after a maze of paths with numerous “DMRC officials only” boards we reached the security surveillance center where a middle aged gentleman interrogated those two regarding their misconduct. the conversation is as follows

Official- you know travelling in the ladies coach is punishable for men
The hero- yes!
Official- then why did you?
The hero- we were travelling at the intersection we were not in the ladies coach.
V- stop lyin! He (pointing towards me) was travelling in that area you were in the ladies coach! See the freakin cctv footage. Sab pata chal jayega kaun kahan travel kar raha tha
Official- pay 250 rs
The hero- we don’t have plus we were not travelling
V- ohh please! You were travelling in the area where there are two seats for the differently abled and senior citizens! Cctv footage dekh ke sab samajh aa jayega! Shaant raho! If you weren’t travelling there then I am the freaking queen of England!
Official- paise do varna I’ll have to call police
The hero- we don’t have any money. Hum toh college se aa rahe the thake haare! Humein nahin pata!
Official- theek hai tumne hamara kaam aasaan kar diya!
After talking for a few moments he gives the guy ki karlo baat!
You should’ve seen the hero then! All traces of superman et al vanished! (god save masculinity!)
The hero- yes, sir! No, sir! Sorry, sir! Paise nahin hain, sir! Ghar waalon ko mat bulao, sir!
After a few more minutes of pleading he gives the phone back to the official and then he tells us that the police is on their way. He asks us to give him our address and phone no. and we do so, thanks her (because well, in the whole episode, I hadn’t spoken a word) and asks us to go and we oblige! By the back of my head I see her having a smirk on her face as she looks into the eye of the hero.

I don’t know what happened to those guys, whether they got arrested or were let off with just a warning but one thing I do know. I have never felt more in love with her than I did at that precise moment as we left the surveillance centre. An idol of sense and sensibility was she. Calm, Confident, Killer, heart less but all for the truth and law precisely the traits of a woman of substance. A leader. A goddess. I haven’t met Maa Durga or Maa Kali or Rani Lakshmi Bai or Mrs. Gandhi but I can proudly say, I have met Vatsala Singh.

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